Life is what you make it

What is success? What are you working towards by the time you hit 40? What’s your credit score? Where yo do see yourself in 3 years? Are you single? If so why? Are you married or in a relationship? Are you HAPPY in that marriage/relationship? What are you afraid of? Do you struggle with depression or anxiety? And are you happy overall?

Think about those questions while I give you the answers to the questions. Success to me is when you’ve succeeded what you wanted to do whether it’s losing weight, getting a new position at your job, graduating college there are many ways to succeed. Success is what everyone wants to achieve, but not all get to. Yes you will fail…how do you know? Because I have failed at plenty of things!

No, my life isn’t together and I will not pretend that it is. Right now at 31 years old I am working on my credit because I want to buy a house by 35. I want to learn how to save better than what I am doing now. My anxiety is through the roof cause at times I questions myself because I am not where I wanted to be when I was younger (successful, married, and a few little babies). At times I don’t feel pretty enough so i feel like that’s why I’ve been single, but I decided to be single because I wanted to focus on myself plus some of these men genuinely ain’t worth a damn. Just remember I said some I am pretty sure there are some amazing men out there I just haven’t ran into one I particularly care for.

I seen myself in three years doing pretty well with my blog, a much bigger platform, and still working full time( why not get all the coins). Definitely single and have been that way for quite some time now and it’s pretty lit. I enjoy not having to argue with someone about something he or she said, but I can say I miss the companionship.

One thing I can say I am afraid of, but it has gotten better is that people judging me. I mean it’s going to happen, but even since I have been in my 30’s I have learned the art of not giving a fuck. Because I am me and I live how I want and what does someone else’s opinion of you have to do with anything right? I have learned so much by just being more condiment, my self esteem was trash, but everyday I was up and look in the mirror and say ” You are amazing and today with be a great day”. I fell like if I don’t say it my day gets thrown off. Another biggest fears is failing as a parent, with anxiety my moods are unpredictible and truly it’s hard especially with a black teenage girl begining to change in her life.

As you know I have and still do struggle with anxiety, but you don’t know my stuggle with depression. I am now more open with it even though it is a stuggle still day to day. When you don’t have anyone to talk to it’s even harder this is why at times I say I miss the companionship. Depression IS REAL anxiety IS REAL and as a country we need to deal with it and help people tht stuggle with it. We need places to talk about it, we need free places for those with low income. Years ago people would just judge you and think you were crazy or it was just in your head ESPECIALLY black families. I have said this before a family member of mine doesn’t believe that being bi-polar is real and just called it an act. If we can deal with issues within our own community how will we succeeed as a people? The world may never know. The world around us is changing and if we don’t become part of the change how will we get treated? Get help if you feel any signs of depression or anxiety. Suicide rates are still rising and will continue to rise if you don’t help yourself or a loved one.

As of right now I cam content, I want to be better, but it comes with time. Being happy is what you make it and I aim everyday to be that way and try not to be tested. In a world that can test you it’s really hard. Did you get an opportunity to answer the questions? Comment down below I’d love to hear your answers!!!

Talk to you later

Phe

Advertisements

One thought on “Life is what you make it

Leave a Reply